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1689 (The Haunting of Hadlow House, #1) by Amy Cross #Review
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Showing posts with the label Horror Movie Reviews
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All About Evil (2010) #RealHorror
All About Evil (2010) has been on my watch list for a while, and I’ve never gotten around to watching it, and now that I have, I wish I could remember why I wanted to see it. Oddly, the cast is impressive. Too bad the acting is beyond any B-Movie Elvira hosted and not in a good way. Speaking of Elvira, I got a kick from how Linda, Steven’s mom, eyeballed Elvira’s poster when he told her he was into older women because Linda is Cassandra Peterson. The other good parts of the film were Vera and Veda. I wish they had the same dresses as the twins from The Shining (1980). The tongue-in-cheek use of horror greats was entertaining, though it did get a little old as the movie progressed. At least the free-flowing blood kept it from getting over-the-top (maybe, sarcasm, maybe not). All About Evil is so bad it’s good, and I don’t regret seeing it. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. All About Evil (2010) #RealHorror Click To Tweet
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Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) #Reboot #Horror
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) is a franchise reboot that tried. I wasn’t sure if I should watch it, but since I’d finished binging the original series, I decided that my life wouldn’t be complete if I ignored it. I’m actually glad that I didn’t. So forget everything you know about Umbrella Corp and Raccoon City, well, at least Raccoon City, because this is different even from the one in the Netflix series. This is like an old dying mining town feel with colorful residents and a lot of peeling paint. This starts gritty and ends that way, and I’m so happy. (I’ve been told it’s closer to the video games, but since I’ve never played them, I don’t have a point of reference, so I’ll have to trust who told me that.) The characters are more believable, as is the survival plot. There are not a bunch of crazy action tricks or over-the-top CGI. But guess what? It’s actually frightening, something that I longed for from the original franchise. Alice never wakes in the shower becaus...
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Resident Evil Franchise #Zombie #Horror #Action
After seeing the Netflix series, I decided it was time to binge the films. Films based on video games can be hit or miss, but this franchise made it work, kinda. Having never played the game and never will, I wonder a little what it’s like. A friend told me it’s phenomenal. The Netflix series felt like fan fiction, but that’s OK. I really enjoyed it, unlike the redundant films. Resident Evil (2002) is the beginning of it all. I’ve seen it several times, and I’m unsure why I’ve never talked about it before. Honestly, I still don’t know what’s going on. It’s all bizarre but awesome at the same time. The effects are good for 2002, and the action is higher than the horror. Alice has flashbacks that fill in the blanks to how the film started. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) kind of picks up where the last left off, but it shows the T-virus has spread outside. It’s a lot of chaos with the infected everywhere. And the introduction to tons of new cast members. It’s a little confusi...
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Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021) #Survival #Horror
I had no idea Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021) existed until the other day. I figured it was coming but hadn’t heard about it until I was scrolling through the neverending guide. It has some flashes of the first film at the beginning, then takes Zoey and Ben to New York City to play a new game with other unwilling participants. This installment wasn’t as hard-hitting as the first. I wasn’t on the edge of my seat while the contestants worked through the puzzles or shocked by anything that happened. The new players were OK. I liked seeing Indya Moore somewhere beside Pose, though her character wasn’t anything different from that. The effects were the same as the first. The one thing I didn’t feel from this film was the urgency. It was palpable in the 2019 installment, but this one was like whatever. Even the ending just made me shrug. I’m not sure if there will be another, though they left it open. If they do, they need to step it up. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions was O...
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In the Mouth of Madness (1995) #CarpenterClassic #Horror
In the Mouth of Madness (1995) is the final in John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy that started with The Thing (1982), followed by Prince of Darkness (1987). After seeing them all, I realized that they aren’t a traditional “franchise” like Halloween or Friday the 13th but an anthology; not sure why it took me so long to figure that out. The film is one acid trip after another, with strange hallucinations that make John Trent (Sam Neill) say over and over, This is reality . Arcane Publishing hires Trent to investigate the disappearance of missing horror author Sutter Cane. Linda Styles, Cane’s editor, goes with him in search of a fictional town, Hobb’s End, that they realize is real. As with most Carpenter films, including the previous two in the trilogy, I think In the Mouth of Madness held up nicely. The effects are good for the era, and the sense of darkness and suspense is intense. It also has a few jump scares, making this a nice ending to the series. I hope they don’t remake this ...
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Jakob's Wife (2021) #Vampire #Horror
Jakob’s Wife (2021) isn’t what I expected, but had I watched the trailer first. I probably would’ve stayed away. Anne Fedder is Pastor Jakob Fedder’s wife and feels like her husband, or anyone else doesn’t take her seriously. While having a meeting with an old boyfriend from high school, Anne finds herself in peril from a dangerous entity. OK, I’m going to stop there. Because saying more would chase you away from this film ultimately….then again, maybe I should continue because I don’t want you to waste your time. If you’ve seen Once Bitten (1985), you don’t need to go through the whole thing again. The difference is it’s a middle-aged woman who was bitten. At least the gore was good because the acting wasn’t. “The Master,” played by Bonnie Aarons (The Nun (2018) and a bunch of other stuff I’ve never seen), is good too. The Nosferatu style of this vampire was a good touch, but not enough to make me really like what I saw. I gave Jakob’s Wife 2 out of 5 Stars. Jakob's Wi...
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The Crawlers (1990) #Environmental #Horror
The Crawlers (1990) is an environmental horror cheese-fest also known as Troll 3, Creepers, or Contamination.7. There’s some discrepancy about the release date, some databases say 1990 while others say 1993, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt and went with 1990. It revolves around a small town that has mysterious deaths that no one can figure out until the EPA comes to save the day. The acting is what you’d expect from a 1980s direct-to-video film, even though this was filmed in 1990 and at times was quite comical. The screaming, though, was amazing. The effects, well, aren’t the best, but hey, The Crawlers is low-budget so my expectations shouldn’t have been set so high. The anticipation of the tree roots attacking people kept me on the edge of my seat as I waited for the next person to fall victim to their nefarious plan; I guess the toxic waste made them sentient too. The Crawlers could’ve been much worse and I actually enjoyed it, giving it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. The Crawlers (1990...
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Student Body (2022) #Horror #Bleh #Slasher
Student Body (2022) was so dull that I wondered why students must wear school uniforms but the teachers don’t. The first twenty minutes (yes, I tortured myself for the entire thing) were high school drama with a mean teacher and a jock that did five pull-ups to get the honor of being the school mascot. No stabby-stabby yet. With fifty-five minutes left and still nothing happening, I wonder why I give so much time to shit films. I mean, I do have the option of turning it off at any time. Then a group of friends broke into the school. I guess they are the main cast, but I kinda lost who was who by this point. I don’t understand why they’re there since they hate the place. The longest four minutes of my life pass, and I, again, wonder why I’m torturing myself. Finally, with 44 minutes left, something happened, and it was bleh. They didn’t show the aftermath of the kid getting bludgeoned with a sledgehammer, and the blood was too thick. Thankfully, it picked up from there; well, kinda...
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House on Straw Hill (1976) #Slasher #Horror
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. An author goes to a secluded location to write a new novel. House on Straw Hill (1976) adds to the vast stack of films and books with this theme, but this one is slightly different because I think it’s soft porn. Oh, by the way, this film is also known as Exposé and Trauma. It starts with sex and ends with death, so I guess it balances out. Linda Hayden plays Linda Hindstatt, Paul’s secretary, who is quite the nymphomaniac; she was Angela Blake in The Blood on Satan’s Claw. Linda types while Paul dictates and serves him coffee at a specific time. I can’t say that there’s an actual story, though Paul’s nightmares are fun; maybe this is the original, and Dreamaniac (1986) is the remake because they are both very similar. Linda’s craziness level raises with every passing scene, which kept me enthralled with this film. House on Straw Hill is one of those films that usually I would turn off, but like a trainwreck, I couldn’t look away. I gave it...
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Revealer (2022) #Apocalptic #Survival #Horror
Revealer (2022) starts with a preacher waking in a room with a TV showing his televangelist show. Then something comes for him. To make this film feel right in the 1980s, the creators put some hair band music in the background as a young woman walks to a payphone. The main characters, Angie, a stripper, and Sally, a Jesus freak, denounces the strip club (Revealer). How the characters are portrayed nail the 80s vibe, though I expected the acting to be much worse, which was a relief that they were good. As the story progresses, everything that Sally preached outside the club comes true, and she quotes random Bible quotes during the movie. The two women are trapped inside peepshow booths and figure out how to get together to get into the tunnels below. The creepiness and strangeness of this film are incredible, as are the minimalistic effects. The one thing I wasn’t impressed with was Asmodeus, but for a low-budget movie, it was adequate. The ending left questions, and that’s OK. I don’t ...
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If A Tree Falls (2010) #Explotation #Survival #Horror
If A Tree Falls (2010) isn’t much different from other survival horror films. It starts with a gory hook, then goes into a typical teen horror. Where would horror be without a gang of psychopaths attacking people in the woods? Or found footage? The creators tried to put a spin on something that’s been many times over, and for the most part, did a good job, but I got bored. I also missed the point of what was happening, if there was one. In the end, If A Tree Falls was OK and I gave it 3 out of 5 Stars. If A Tree Falls (2010) #Explotation #Survival #Horror Click To Tweet
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Mad God (2022) #Animated #Horror
So, Mad God (2022), have you seen it? I did, and it was one of my most anticipated films of 2022. The description on IMDb says A corroded diving bell descends amidst a ruined city, and the Assassin emerges from it to explore a labyrinth of bizarre landscapes inhabited by freakish denizens. And that happened twice, maybe three times if you count the ending. The visual aesthetic of this film was terrific. The strangeness was off the charts. The point was….I’m still trying to figure that out. There was a lot of symbolism in it, but it wasn’t put together in a way that made sense. Was there a message that I missed? Maybe, but I couldn’t take my eyes from the screen as the next travesty came into focus. The beauty of this film isn’t hindered by dialogue, allowing the eyes to take in the beauty. Each creature was a delight to my eyes, and the landscapes were troubling. Even the live-action sequences were dark and nightmarish. At one point, I imagined sitting in a theatre with my husband to ...
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Uninvited (1988) #CatsInHorror #1980s #Horror
Uninvited (1988) starts in a laboratory with scientists doing experiments on a cat. Mr. Kitty isn’t happy and attacks. It maneuvers its way out of the lab and into the world outside. The story after is a bit of reach. It does come together better when a group of teenagers joins a multi-millionaire, Walter, on his yacht, and, of course, the cat that Suzanne adopts and insists it come along. The hysterics in this film are outstanding, as is the cat, though the soundtrack makes it meow way too much (like at home for me). The effects of the mutant cat that comes out of Mr. Kitty aren’t the worst I’ve seen from this decade. I just wish they would’ve shown it more. There’s blood that flows but not enough for this type of film. At least, the acting is exactly what I expect from an 80s horror. And back to the storyline. So much of it was disjointed and didn’t make sense even when they were on the yacht, but that didn’t stop me from loving it; it was just stupid. Uninvited didn’t always make se...
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Candyman (2021) #SayIt #Horror
I thought Candyman (2021) was a remake and not the fourth in the series; that’s why it took me so long to see it and Jordan Peele’s involvement. I’m scolding myself for waiting because this film is fantastic. It starts by returning us Cabrini-Green in 1977 and the police looking for Sherman Fields because he’s accused of putting razor blades in candy that he hands out to children. When a kid screams in the laundry room, the police come and beat Fields to death, then we jump to the present and the rebuilt Cabrini-Green that is gentrified. I loved the tie-in with Candyman (1992) and Anthony McCoy learning all he could about the supposed myth. The art installment he creates called “Say My Name” is very cool with a three-panel bathroom mirror hiding an array of pictures. Each time someone said Candyman five times in front of a mirror, he came, which was stupendous. The blood flow gave me chills. The camera angles were beautiful too. In the past, I’ve complained about social aspects be...
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A Blade in the Dark (1983) #Slasher #Horror
A Blade in the Dark (1983) is an Italian slasher directed by Lamberto Bava. The story revolves around Bruno, a composer working on the soundtrack for a horror film, finding himself in one. Now, the translation to English isn’t perfect, and sometimes, I wondered what they really said. In the beginning, when Bruno finds a woman in a closet, she screams when she sees an insect on the floor. He laughs and calls it a cockroach when it’s a spider. Even the original Italian title is La casa con la scala nel buio, which I learned means The House with the Dark Staircase. I like the translation title better. A Blade in the Dark was definitely a surprise slasher, and I didn’t expect the culprit of the killings at all, but I also didn’t suspect who the characters did. The suspense is good and kept me entertained. But the strangeness of this film was the star. I can’t explain that, so you’ll have to trust me and see it. A Blade in the Dark was excellent and I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. A Blade ...
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Firestarter (2022) #Remake #Flop #Horror
Firestarter (2022) is one of my least favorite Stephen King stories, including the book and movies. The 1984 original was lackluster, and Blumhouse made an almost identical copy. Blumhouse has a way of making something that is labeled horror into barely a thriller. At least there wasn’t anything to ruin with this story. If you haven’t seen either, I don’t recommend them if you want to have any scares. The story follows Charlie, who has psychic abilities inherited from her parents. They got their powers from a “clinical trial.” The company that gave them the drug wants Charlie so they can study her. The special effects were OK, but the whole thing was so dumb that I didn’t care. The only saving grace for this film was Zac Effron. He and Ryan Kiera Armstrong were also the best actors. The rest were just weird to watch, like they were forcing their roles, especially Gloria Reuben. Firestarter is a waste of celluloid, and I gave it 1 out of 5 Stars. Firestarter (2022) #Remake #Flop #Horror...
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Doom Asylum (1988) #80sCheese #Horror
Doom Asylum (1988) stars Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame, and oddly it’s the same character. Oh what to say about this one. Well, it starts with a man and a woman in a car wreck, and she dies. For whatever reason, they think he’s dead too, and he wakes in autopsy. This is where I should’ve turned it off and not invested the time to see what happens next because my expectations weren’t low enough. The girl punk band could’ve been grittier, but at least the confrontation between them and the group of friends was hysterical. The killings were fun, making me happy that I didn’t stop after the first five minutes. I just don’t understand the why behind Mitch doing it. And what was with his makeup? My favorite kill was Jane’s (Kristin Davis); she was super annoying. Besides the cheese and gore, there isn’t much to Doom Asylum. Wait, isn’t that all it needs? I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Doom Asylum (1988) #80sCheese #Horror Click To Tweet
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The Twin (2022) #Psychological #Horror
The Twin (2022) follows Rachel, Anthony, and their son Elliot as they move from New York to Finland to heal from losing Elliot’s twin in an auto accident. Rachel doesn’t seem thrilled about being there, but she says as long as her family is happy, so is she, which is understandable after losing a child. Anthony wants to move on with their life, though he doesn’t want to spend much time with Elliot. Elliot picks a room at the top of the house for his bedroom and requests a bed for Nathan to be set up too. Well, I can’t, in good conscience, say anymore, except that the strangeness and cult introduction is thrilling. The revelations in the ending scenes are shocking but not outlandish. The Twin was one of those movies that left me shaking my head, and for once, it wasn’t because I thought it was horrible. This is a good one, and I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. The Twin (2022) #Psychological #Horror Click To Tweet
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Dreamaniac (1986) #Slasher #Horror
Oh my. Did they ever make some strange horror movies in the 1980s. I think Dreamaniac (1986) is one of the most bizarre of the decade. Most of the time, I kept thinking it was soft porn because of all the sex happening and not much more. The gore in this low-budget-direct-to-video film wasn’t horrible, but the acting was, and that is why it was amazing. Oh, and another thing, the storyline made no sense. I got lost from one sex scene to the next. What was the magic part was about? And let’s not forget the title, I figured it would be a little like Nightmare on Elm, but nope, so I don’t know where they got it. The ending made me yell, STUPID, then roll on the floor laughing. If you are looking for an exquisite example of horror nonsense, there is no need to look further. Dreamaniac is your film. Unfortunately, I can’t give it more than 2.5 out of 5 Stars. Dreamaniac (1986) #Slasher #Horror Click To Tweet
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Death Valley (2021) #SciFi #Horror
Death Valley (2021) had a flow problem that confused me. It started with two men and a woman running through a tunnel to escape something chasing them. Only one man escaped, locking the other two inside to face the monster. Then suddenly we’re in a forest with a group of rescuers fighting for their life against a militia. So much time was spent in the woods that I was really confused about what was happening until two survivors find the hatch to the underground research facility. Still, I didn’t understand the militia until much later in the film. There is a definite Alien (1979) influence in this film, which isn’t a bad thing. The monsters are nicely done and frightening. What they are is fascinating and amazing and how they came to be is even better. The twist surprised me, I wasn’t expecting it and that is when the militia made sense. Death Valley is a good SciFi Horror that should be watched at least once. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Death Valley (2021) #SciFi #Horror Click ...
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