Charles W Jones

The Prey (1983) hits it out of the park with bizarre scenes and blood-curdling screams. It opens with a scene of a forest fire that happened in 1948 and for me, it could’ve been shorter because it didn’t really add that much besides time to the already short film (80 minutes). Then it jumps to 1980 with a group of young adults traveling by panel van into the mountains to go hiking. So yes, very stereotypical for a slasher flick and even something that I used for my short story The Road to Nowhere. As it continues, I kept expecting David Attenborough to start giving commentary about what the wildlife was doing as the shots of the wildlife were abundant, more fluff that could’ve been omitted as it didn’t add anything. The sexual tension between the characters at times is the lead into a soft-porn flick that’d be aired on Max After Dark. There’s not enough else in this film to make it worthwhile to see, though I was intrigued by the entire film. It felt like they ran out of money so they ...

It’s been so long since I’ve seen A Return to Salem’s Lot ( 1987 ), it felt like seeing it for the first time, and just as long since seeing the miniseries from 1979 that spun this sequel. I wish I would’ve left it as a faded memory, and not ruined it because this has to be one of the worst films ever made. Axel says I have a drinking problem. Mrs. Axel I’m not sure which is worse, the acting or the vampire costume/makeup or the fake skin? Well, at least Michael Minard’s musical score is good, but not good enough to redeem the whole of A Return to Salem’s Lot. The setting is another shining gem in this tarnished crown. The story wasn’t horrible, and it had an interesting ask from the vampires. Then out of nowhere, they throw in an aging Nazi Hunter, who helps Joseph and Jeremy escape. I still don’t get the need to have a Nazi Hunter, but I guess it made sense at the time, more sense than vampires breeding; and I thought sparkling was a reach. I’m amused that this awkwardly embarrassing...

Christopher Walken stars in The Dead Zone (1983) as Johnny Smith. Brooke Adams is also in this as Sarah Bracknell; she’s been in a ton of movies and always reminds me of Margot Kidder without the whiskey voice. And I cannot forget to mention Tom Skerritt, who I think has been in everything since 1962. As with many Stephen King adaptations, this is a little corny, which I don’t remember being present the first time I saw this. Then again it was the 80s, so there was that fine line between cheese and corn. Or maybe King’s books are truly corny if you think about it. The ability to see things by touching an item or a person has always been a superpower that I’ve wanted, but after watching The Dead Zone again, I’m gonna have to think of a new one. I’ve always liked this film, though of course, the book is better. If you get a chance to see it for the first time or again, I recommend The Dead Zone and gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. I wanted to like The Dead Zone more. Click To Tweet

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen The Dungeonmaster (1984), but each time I see it, I am happy that I came across it again. In my most recent viewing, I couldn’t help but giggle about the prophetic glimpse into the future with X-CaliBR8, Paul’s computerized personal assistant, complete with a smartwatch and Google Glasses. I guess you could say that The Dungeonmaster is an anthology film. There are several distinct shorts within the challenges set by the villain, Mestemas. Each of these challenges is super bizarre with Tron-like effects, strange stop-motion animation like a Peter Gabriel music video, and let’s not forget the little people. Gwen, Paul’s girlfriend, is jealous of his relationship with his computer, which I would get if it were an android like in Cherry 2000, but it’s a wall of chips and an old IBM monitor. Once Mestema takes her, the challenges begin, and they don’t really make sense, but they are entertaining. One even includes a WASP concert. Did I mention the chee...

While The Burning ( 1981 ) has much in common with the Friday the 13th franchise, it isn’t an exact copy. The cheese level alone makes this 80s Horror Classic worth watching. And as standard with the era, there are boobies and a strange musical score. When the blood started to flow, they weren’t stingy about it, and I loved how they faded to red instead of black when those scenes ended. Even Cropsy’s make-up is exceptional. The film stars Brian Williams as Todd one of the camp counselors, but he’s not the actor that I was surprised to see (I didn’t remember who was in it, I haven’t seen this since the 80s). Jason Alexander with hair is in this, as well as Ned Eisenberg and Fisher Stevens. Oddly, even as young adults, they weren’t much different in style for their later roles. In these types of movies, I always have questions about how things happen, and The Burning is no different. One second Cropsy is in the city after getting kicked out of the hospital, the next he’s in the woods sta...

Never heard of Robot Holocaust ( 1986 ), don’t worry, I hadn’t either until recently when I started searching for something different. Well, ladies and gentlemen, Tim Kincaid always produces some of the strangest movies, and this one is pretty special and different, though not unpredictable. I love how movies set in the post-apocalyptic world dress people like cavemen or Conan the Barbarian stylings. Aren’t there enough things to wear in warehouses or shopping malls? Some of the costuming is interesting like it was rejected stuff from other movies (Torque is a good example). Even the cave worms remind me of something I’ve seen someplace else. That’s not to say that the quality isn’t good, even the wanna be C-3PO is fun. Robot Holocaust is only seventy-nine minutes long, which is more than enough time to provide us with some of the best…worst…hmmm…acting from the bottom of the barrel of performers. At least, it’s good for a few laughs along the journey to the Power Station. Though, with...

I vaguely remember seeing Society (1989) on VHS, and as I watched it again, I was happy to be reintroduced. It’s about wealthy people and their role in society, feeding off the lower classes. Yes, it’s a political film, well, kinda, but not like some of the newer ones that smack you in the face with the politics and forget that it’s supposed to scare you. The bizarreness of this film is off the charts, but at least it adds to the movie and makes the horror more rememberable. As Bill begins to put the pieces together of what is happening, he is not on board. It’s almost like he was adopted because his sister has no problem with it at all. The effects are expected for 80s horror and are an absolute delight to see; yeah, no CGI, and it’s scary. The story does have some weak points, but nothing that killed it for me, and then we come to the ending that is as unnerving as what happened throughout the film. Society isn’t your everyday horror and is one of the higher-ranking films I’ve seen, ...

I’ve seen a ton of horror movies throughout the years with a variety of themes (monster, slasher, stalker, etc) and there are many of those that are absolutely dreadful, and Q ( 1982 ) is one of them; it didn’t even have campiness to try to distract from the fact that it was awful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this movie, but I remember the VHS box in the video store growing up, and now I wish that I hadn’t wasted the time. OK, I do have to give it a little credit, the first part of the movie was one scream after another, but it burnt out quickly and became redundant. Q has some of the worst stop-motion animation I’ve ever witnessed, worse than the 1981 Clash of the Titans and any Godzilla movie ever made. At times, I felt like there was just too much happening. I’m not even sure if this would be categorized as a B, and I hope it’s not because I wouldn’t want this film sullying B-Movies. I can only give this movie 1 out of 5 Stars, because while it’s bad, for me it wasn’t as bad as mov...

Predator: The Quietus ( 1988 ) has nothing to do with the Predator franchise, and from what I can tell, it’s also called Moonstalker (1986). Low budget movies can be hit or miss, and this one is better than what I’d expect. I admit, I have this knack for finding the absolute strangest movies ever made, and this has to be close to the top of the list. It stars Cliff Twemlow under the alias Mike Sullivan; I’m not sure why, it’s not like his movies aren’t B or lower. He plays Daniel Kane, a monster hunter of sorts, who teams up with Kelly O’Neill (Cordelia Roche), an Enquirer reporter to figure out who or what is slaughtering people. The most interesting character in the film is Wilbur Sledge played by Darryl Marchant; he’s exiled himself to the woods to protect them from development and people abusing the land. He has animal friends and talks with them. When the beast is shown, I’m not sure what it is, besides weird looking, then as I get a better look I realize that it has to be Rawhead...

I remember seeing The Pit (1981) (aka Teddy) on VHS when I was a kid, and back then, it was super scary, and I wish the frights would’ve held up through the years because it’s a fantastic movie. Jamie Benjamin is an awkward 12-year-old boy who doesn’t have friends except talking to his Teddy, the animals he has in a terrarium, and, of course, the troglodytes in the pit. Like I said above, The Pit is not as frightening as I remember it, but what it misses in that department is made up with absolute bizarreness. The acting takes a role in that front because it’s melodramatic, to say the least. I appreciate the troglodytes, how Jamie figures out what they need to eat, and how he feeds them. While not everything is shown, the creepiness of it is spectacular, as are the ways he gets the food to the creatures. Then something else strange happens. It’s like watching a completely different film with Jamie all but forgotten as the men of town hunt the monsters. After this interlude ends, the mo...

I’ve seen The Immortalizer (1989) several times and then don’t think much about it for years until I see it listed again. It’s almost a typical teen horror film with slight differences that you have to see for yourself to understand what I mean. There are many details that I don’t like about this film, and the biggest one is the voiceovers when the patients receive their new bodies. It doesn’t make sense because they didn’t transfer the voice box, only the…not telling. The maniacal facial expressions of Dr. Divine crack me up though that is the only saving grace of the actor, Ron Ray. I’m sure he was a super nice guy in real life, but this role ruined him for me. When I saw this recently, it occurred to me that this film inspired Jordan Peele’s Get Out (2017) as the theme is remarkably identical. While he changed it from using teenagers to people of color, it’s still the same. The Immortalizer has its moments of awesomeness, though they are fleeting. It’s an OK film, so I gave it ...

I don’t understand why film names change after the fact or in the middle or whenever. The Mutilator ( 1984 ) a.k.a. Fall Break, should’ve stuck with the latter as it makes more sense. OK Productions is responsible for this movie, and it wasn’t even that, to be honest. I can get past bad acting, marking it up to cheese, but that’s not what bugged me about this film. Besides being almost identical to Madman (1982), there isn’t much to it. The opening sequence led me to believe that it was going to be more exciting. They couldn’t even keep the story straight from one scene to the next, especially with Ed’s backstory. The slasher effects were beyond low budget, and the blood is some of the worst I’ve seen from the 80s. Seriously, did Sears or Montgomery Wards have a sale on red paint? The slowness was horrible and it didn’t help with the repetitive actions of the characters. Really? You’re going to look for your friends again? By the time the fun got going, I was so annoyed that I didn’t e...

Waxwork (1988) is one of the strangest anthology films I’ve ever seen. It begins as a horribly acted teen horror flick, then progresses into something good and unbelievably amazing, though the acting doesn’t improve. It’s weird. I don’t remember Zach Galligan’s acting skills to be so bad in Gremlins. It’s also a remake of sorts of House of Wax (1953). This movie’s cheesiness is super high, and the effects aren’t the worst I’ve seen. The ending fire is reminiscent of AIP, with it obviously not touching the building. If you’re looking for some good old-fashioned 80s horror that doesn’t require you to think, Waxwork is if the film for you. I give it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Waxwork is an OK remake of House of Wax. Click To Tweet Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992) begins where the first ended with the super creepy hand (wait, is that Thing?) crawling away and our heroes escaping the evil world. Since I watched both films back-to-back, it’s obvious that they Sarah Brightman recast with Monika Schna...

C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (1989) is a rough sequel, though there’s no indication that the C.H.U.D. in this one ever lived underground. So, I wonder, is he really a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller? It’s definitely not the same beast either. This is totally a zombie, changing the city into more with a bite. It annoys me more than a little that they changed them because the creatures from the first were amazing. There’s a lot more cheese in this chapter, too, with the teenage hijinx, but that actually made the movie better. Sadly, there just isn’t much to this movie otherwise. The madcap chase to find Bud has its moments but got a little old and could’ve been wrapped up sooner. When it finally ends, it is left open for another sequel that I’m thankful never happened. I just couldn’t take more than that. I can only give C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. 2.5 out of 5 Stars. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (1989) #80sFlashback Click To Tweet

C.H.U.D. (1984) is about Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal that turns people into Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. The people appear to be the homeless population of New York City who lives in the abandoned tunnels. The film has some disconnect for me initially with the woman walking her dog getting taken by something from a manhole cover jumping to a photographer and his model girlfriend. Then comes the setup when those two worlds collide, though it still feels a bit disconnected. When the full C.H.U.D. is shown, I’m impressed and creeped out by it. The glowing eyes add a nice extra something that it needed. There are similarities to zombies with the monsters, though it’s not clear that it’s a thing until the fun starts. C.H.U.D. is one of those movies 1980s movies that I think aged well; please don’t remake it. I give it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Check back next week when I talk about C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (1989). C.H.U.D. (1984) #80sFlashback Click To Tweet

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) is one of those films that I wished I didn’t watch because it wasn’t really worth the 90 minutes. At least for consistency, they used the same actress, Pamela Springsteen, to play Angela. There are parts of this film that are absolutely disgusting and verged on soft porn, let alone the predictability of what was going to happen next. Well, I take that back, I assumed Angela had killed a fornicating couple, but nope, there they were in the following scene. This chapter in the franchise adds no value, but I watched hoping it would get better…I have no idea why I would hope that, there was nowhere for this film to go but down. When it was finally over, I shrugged and couldn’t believe that I watched the entire mess. Don’t waste your time on Sleepaway Camp III. I gave it 1.5 out of 5 Stars. P.S. Something I didn’t know, there are two more in this franchise, one as recent as 2012. Guess what? I’m not going to go out of my way to find them. Sl...

I was hoping that Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) would’ve kept better secrets as the first in this strange horror franchise, but it didn’t. There’s something to be said about not knowing who is doing the kills that adds more suspense than knowing upfront. I’ll get to more of that later. It begins with a campfire story, then someone tells about what happened at Camp Arawak years before. There are some details that others around the fire tell about, that are bizarre, though, in this world believable. When a young woman comes to collect a teenage girl while she continues the tale, it’s weird, but not really in a good way, even for the 1980s. As the film continues, I am delighted with what Angela is doing, cleaning up the camp of the impure boys and girls. While in the first film, she took care of the ones who picked on her. She’s devout now, so apparently, her therapy at the institution made her the punisher of those who sinned, which isn’t really a reach. The deserted cabin in...

Sleepaway Camp (1983) is one of those films that, if you haven’t seen, you’re not missing much because it’s a lot of teenage drama. Though, I can’t really say that because this film has so much WTF happening that if you don’t see it, you will miss the bizarre elements that make it such a classic. It starts with a man and his children on a boat while teenagers are waterskiing. How can that not go wrong? And it does. The thing I didn’t catch at this point was the relationship between the man on the boat and the one on the shore watching the catastrophe. Good thing it’s kinda explained later in the movie. Sleepaway Camp then jumps eight years into the future with Ricky and Angela getting ready to go to Camp Arawak with a super strange scene with Ricky’s mom. This is one of those scenes that made me wonder what I was seeing but I’m no worse for the wear. Angela doesn’t talk to the other girls or shower with them, and they constantly verbally abuse her, leading to physicality later on. As t...

When I read this on a website about House III: The Horror Show (1989), it made me more confused than I’d already been about this film being in the franchise (I’m not citing the reference). The Horror Show was originally intended as an entry into the House series of films but was marketed as unrelated, as the producers felt it was too intense compared to the more comedic earlier installments, House and House II: The Second Story. My confusion is because The Horror Show has nothing to do with a haunted house like the previous two, so I can see why they removed House from the title. It’s filled with similarities to Wes Craven’s Shocker (1989). Those things aside, I enjoyed this film because of the intensity that began from the very first frame. The Horror Show has great slasher moments if that’s what you’re into, and I am. It was very satisfying for my bestial side. The frights come quickly and don’t stop until the end; another thing that makes me happy and making me wonder why horror fil...

I’ve had a quest for many years to find the movie with the fictional band The Puce Clits, and now that quest has come to an end because it’s in House II: The Second Story (1987). Honestly, that’s all I remembered from this movie. With the serious theme of the Viet Nam War in the background of House, it is completely gone with House II. There’s nothing really serious about this one. You’d think that The Second Story would refer to an actual second story of a house, and they’d have used the same place from the first, but they didn’t. That’s OK. This one reminds me of Castle Marne. The costumes, makeup, and effects are the best part of this film, including the creatures, just like House. There was a complete disconnect for me with the time travel and a glowing skull. Oh, and let’s not forget the dinosaurs and Cowboys and Indians. This is probably why I’d blocked ever seeing House II from my mind and why, thirty-four years later, I couldn’t stay connected with it; at least I found the Puce...